His smile was so alluring…  It hinted that he had a devious secret he couldn’t wait to tell you. It sent people to their rest and broke the beautiful dreams it inspired. It was like being a moth to a flame… his smile was so fatal, and so warm.
         “Heeey!”, he said smoothly to the barkeeper, strolling in. “A bottle of cold.”
The bar scene was familiar to him, telling what kind of life he led before I knew him myself. He knew everything in the infamous setting, he lived it, he fed off it’s energy.
         He was just like it. Smoky, an air of lust and mystery licking all over me, and snaking around my ankles was a volatile feeling, as if something unpredictable was about to happen. A feeling that made my steady heart actually go just a bit faster..
         “..Sanzo”, he said sharply, looking right at me. It hit me like one of my own bullets, my eyes returned his glance with a slight scowl, purely out of habit. “You okay?”, he said, his crimson eyes getting dangerously close to reading my thoughts, I felt them studying me, seeing right through me…
         “..I’m fine.”, I replied in a nonchalant voice, His eyes held to mine for another moment, then moving on. I walked softly, aimlessly. For one of the first times since my Master’s death, I actually was feeling sincerely lonely. I always said I’d never allow myself to get so close to anyone that I couldn’t bear to lose them. I took a seat on a stool near the counter.
         “What can I do fer ya?”, the bartender said. He has an aged appearance, his skin rough. Drinking too much of his own ale, I’d presume. Damn, I hope I never end up like that..
         “Beer.” I said, rolling my eyes. He looked at me, terribly confused.
         “We have lots of brews, what kind do y—“
         “I don’t give a shit, bring me some alcohol.”, I barked at him. When he handed it to me, he seemed totally cool. He must deal with a lot of angry people. Tch.        
         It didn’t taste like it usually did, alcohol. Something was missing from it, a taste that made it complete. Tasted how I felt. God dammit, I’m pathetic… but what do you do? I’m a priest! A Sanzo at that! What am I supposed to do with myself.. I can’t be falling for..
         “Gojyo, baby! You’re so good at this!”, a raven haired woman chimed over his card skills. Tch, skills at cheating.. He was up against another man, biased as my opinion was; he was definitely no match for my half-demon companion. I always hated the little fan clubs that formed around him whenever he played.. Always fawning over him, trying to be all cute..
         Gojyo took a cigarette from the box in his pocket, then pulling out a silver zippo lighter. He flipped the top in a showy way, tossing it back so gravity did its work. His other hand brought a cigarette to his gentle lips. The lighter was worn from overuse; took a few flicks to get a flame, but sure enough it came, casting a glow on his tanned skin. The end of the cigarette in his mouth, he took a drag from it. My heart was loud and growing faster, as hot smoke billowed from his lips, curling in the air and fading away. Smoke that didn’t realize just how lucky it was. His eyes found me again, expression still. Their bright color seemed to be all I could see.. but nervously, I turned away. He knew I had been watching him..
         Women’s voices cooing and giggling rang in my ears as I turned around. I waited a moment, until I was fairly certain Gojyo wasn’t watching me anymore. I got up off the stool and strode off into a vacant hallway.
         My head was full of every thought possible. Facing a wall, I gently touched my forehead to it. I just didn’t know what to do anymore.. I banged my fist against the wall next to me. Probably not a smart move; someone might come looking for me. I turned around quickly, sinking down the wall. My eyes were shut tight, my bangs had fallen over them. I could feel them touching my cheeks.
         I absolutely hate not being in control of a situation. Makes me feel incompetent, like I might have messed up somewhere along the line.
         I felt myself travel to a place where I really could control everything—Nothing could hurt me there, everything was placid and I liked it that way. If you never get your hopes up, there’s nowhere for them to fall. At least, that was a followable rule for me until he showed up. Maybe I wasn’t so in control… He always showed up, whether I wanted him to or not. Just like he was in person. He was assertive, but without meaning to. That was just his spirit. I had never been so baffled before. I felt like I wanted to just shoot him, makai tenjo him, whatever I had to do to make him leave.. but once I saw him, that expression.. I wanted him to stay, and by doing so, I was wishing for my own downfall.
         I heard my own name… I didn’t respond to it at first. Then again, louder. I finally opened my eyes.
         “You’re not okay, are you..?”, he said softly. He was standing before me. I just looked straight into his eyes, I had nothing to say.  He kneeled down, a knee straddled over either side of my waist. He was waiting for me to speak. I could feel my expression showing that I was feeling some sort of pain. I couldn’t stand showing that I was hurting.
         His right hand braced himself against the wall to the left of my head. I wanted to nestle my hair against it, feel him with my hands.. we were actually alone…
         His face came and whispered level with my right ear.
         “Ask me real nice.” He told me. The smell of tobacco was on his breath. It made me feel a craving, both for a cigarette and for Gojyo himself. His left hand rose to my cheek, brushing it with such a gentleness I hadn’t ever felt..
         “Tell me you don’t want me looking at anyone else but you.”